One - Line Business Thoughts

• Don't stop to stomp on ants when the elephants are stampeding.
• Don't try to have the last word; you might get it.
• Don't worry about the sand in the Vaseline, they don't use it anyway.
• Due to recent budget cuts and downsizing, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
• Each problem solved introduces a new unsolved problem.
• Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
• Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy and wealthy and dead.
• Easiest way to figure the cost of living: take your income and add ten percent.
• Eat the rich. The poor are tough and stringy.
• Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness. 

Everyone Business One - Liners

• Everybody should believe in something, I believe I'll have another beer.
• Everybody's gotta be someplace.
• Everyone breaks more than the seven-year-bad-luck allotment to cover rotten luck throughout an entire lifetime.
• Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
• Everyone has a scheme that will not work.
• Everyone hits a brick wall now and then; the trick is not to do it with your head.
• Everything east of the San Andreas fault will eventually plunge into the Atlantic Ocean.
• Everything happens at the same time with nothing in between.
• Everything in moderation, including moderation.
• Everything is actually everything else, just recycled. 

The Business One - Liners

• The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
• The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow.
• The business plan you prepare must be a lie; but it must be a detailed and precise lie rather than a vague and general lie.
• The business world worships mediocrity.
• Officially, we revere free enterprise, initiative, and individuality. Unofficially, we fear it.
• The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
• The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to...to...uhh...
• The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
• The chaos in the universe always increases.
• The chief cause of problems is solutions.
• The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.