George Costanza's Tips for Working Hard II

Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss -and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

Top 10 Signs You Are 'Burned Out'

1. You're so tired you now answer the phone, "Hell."
2. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back, jerk!"
3. Your garbage can IS your "in" box.
4. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.
5. You have so much on your mind, you've forget often how to think.
6. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through ...er.... Monday.
7. You sleep more at work than at home.
8. You leave for a party and instinctively take your ID badge.
9. Your Day Timer exploded a week ago.
10. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.

The Y-Zero-K Problem

Translated from a recently discovered Latin scroll dated 2BC
Dear Cassius: Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change from BC to AD is giving us many headaches; there is not much time left. I don't know how citizens will cope with working the wrong way around. Having been working happily downwards forever, now we have to start thinking upwards. You would think that someone would have thought of this earlier and not left it to us to sort it out at the last minute. I spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius hadn't done something about it when he was working out the calendar. He said he could see why Brutus turned nasty. We called in Consultus, but he simply said that continuing downwards using minus BC won't work and as usual charged a fortune for doing nothing useful. Surely, we will not have to throw out all our hardware and start again? Macrohard will make yet another fortune out of this, I suppose. The money lenders are paranoid of course! They have been told that all usury rates will invert, and they will have to pay their clients to take out loans. It is an ill wind. As for myself, I just cannot see how the sand in an hourglass will flow upwards. We have heard that there are three wise men in the East who have been working on the problem, but unfortunately they won't arrive until it's all over. I have heard that there are plans to stable all horses at midnight at the turn of the year as there are fears that they will stop and try to run backwards, causing immense damage to chariots and possible loss of life. Some say the world will cease to exist at the moment of transition. Anyway, we are still continuing to work on this acursed Y zero K problem. I will send you a parchment if anything further develops. If you have any ideas please let me know, Plutonius Sent by Marina