Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Are Not

• I need you to whip it out by 5:00!
• Mind if I use your laptop?
• Put this in my box before you leave.
• I want it on my desk now!
• Hmm.. I think I'm out of fluid.
• My equipment's so old, it takes forever to finish!
• It's an entry level position.
• When do you think you'll be getting off today?
• It's not fair... I do all the work while he just sits back!

Sex Advisor

The drinker announced to the bartender, "It seems I've been informally named advisor on 'Sexual Matters' at my company." "That sounds interesting. Does this mean you'll be counseling the big bosses on relations with their secretaries?" "I'm not sure yet," he answered. "During a staff meeting, I popped up to suggest a reduction in executive expense accounts and it was after that I was told if they ever wanted my fucking advice, they'd let me know."

Extra Office Work

The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?" The manager replied; "No, sir, this I do free of charge."