Bosses vs Workers

• When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.
• When I don't do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
• When I do it without being told, I'm trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative.
• When I please my boss, that's brown-nosing. When my boss pleases his boss, that's co-operating.
• When I do good, my boss never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets.

Bosses, And Technology

Boss: "My laptop computer is locked up. Can you help?"
Dilbert: "Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it to reboot.
"Boss: "Oh, that's right."
Wally: "I wonder if he'll ever realize we gave him an "Etch-A-Sketch."

Downsizing

Boss: (to employee) Experts say that humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing.
Knock, knock, Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore.