I'm The Boss

The company boss was complaining in a staff meeting that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: " I'm the Boss!" He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

New Year Disease

A woman calls her boss after a wild New Year's party and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asks. ‘I have a case of anal glaucoma,’ she says in a weak voice. ‘What the heck is anal glaucoma?’ ‘I can’t see my butt coming into work today’.

Impatient and Annoyed

According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.