Good Work Day

Q: How do you know when it's going to be a good day at work?
A: When you see your boss' picture on the side of the milk carton.

New Year Disease

A woman calls her boss after a wild New Year's party and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asks. ‘I have a case of anal glaucoma,’ she says in a weak voice. ‘What the heck is anal glaucoma?’ ‘I can’t see my butt coming into work today’.

Day Off Work

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."