Business Laws Continued

Hugh Downs' Four Rules for Investigating the Universe:
Rule 1 - When confronted with an apparent infinite or infinitely repeating pattern, expect some variant that keeps it from being infinite.
Rule 2 - When all investigation supports Rule 1, look for a situation which violates it.
Rule 3 - Be prepared for an infinite oscillation between Rules 1 and 2.
Rule 4 - Apply Rule 1.
Drew's Law of Highway Biology: The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.
Ducharme's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.
Ducharme's Precept: Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
Emersons' Law of Contrariness: Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
Estridge's Law: No matter how large and standardized the marketplace is, IBM can redefine it.
Fett's Law: Never replicate a successful experiment. 

Wages for Experience

A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potential employee's application and notices that the man has never worked in retail before. He says to the man, "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage." "Well Sir," the applicant replies, "The work is so much harder when you don't know what you're doing!"

Business One - Liners 80

• It's Not My Job!
• It's not hard to meet expenses; they are everywhere.
• It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.
• It's not the work that gets me down, it's the coffee breaks.
• It's out of my control.
• Job placement: Telling your boss what he can do with your job.
• Join in the new game that's sweeping the country. It's called "Bureaucracy". Everybody stands in a circle. The first person to do anything loses.

Junk mail arrives the day it was sent.
Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
Just about the time when your income gets to the point where food prices don't matter, calories do.