Who's Working?

The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. And since we KNOW they don't do a damn thing, this leaves 19 million to do the work. Four million are in the Armed Forces (i.e. let's soak up more tax dollars while we play "Doom"), which leaves 15 million to do the work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work. There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work. Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting there reading jokes on jokerz.com. No wonder I'm tired; I'm the doing ALL of the work myself!

Enron Scandal Effects

Q: Why has the Enron scandal been so hard on ESL teachers?
A: Because they now have to explain to their students why "to LAY" is worse than "to F*CK"!

Business Talk

• The "think positive" leader tends to listen to his subordinate's premonitions only during the postmortems.
• The amount of flak received on any subject is inversely proportional to the subject's true value.
• The average man's judgement is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.
• The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.
• The best laid plans of mice and men are all filed away somewhere.
• The best laid plans of mice and men are usually equal.
• The best photos are generally attempted through the lens cap.
• The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
• The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.
• The best way to realise your dreams is to wake up.