Work & Office Jokes

The Business One - Liners

  • The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
  • The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow.
  • The business plan you prepare must be a lie; but it must be a detailed and precise lie rather than a vague and general lie.
  • The business world worships mediocrity.
  • Officially, we revere free enterprise, initiative, and individuality. Unofficially, we fear it.
  • The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
  • The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to...to...uhh...
  • The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
  • The chaos in the universe always increases.
  • The chief cause of problems is solutions.
  • The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it. 

Anonymous

Important Notice

To make things easier for all of us, please notice this Important Notice About Notices... You may have noticed the increased number of notices for you to notice. We notice that some of our notices have been noticed. On the other hand, some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It is noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably unnoticeable. This notice is to remind you to notice the notices and respond to the Notices because we do not want the noticed to go unnoticed.

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Anonymous

Insult Collection

  • Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker.
  • People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.
  • Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick!
  • We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
  • When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in.
  • The only things you ever make are mistakes and cigarette ashes.
  • You always manage to keep your neck above water. We can tell by the color of it.
  • All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?
  • I heard you have hair on your chest, and that`s not your only resemblance to Rin Tin Tin
  • There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it. Sit down and give your mind a rest.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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