Blonde Job Applicant

A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?" "In three months."

Plant Manager

Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."

Business One - Liners... If

• If you cannot fix it, feature it.
• If you cannot get your work done in a 24-hour day, then work nights!
• If you cannot measure output, then you measure input.
• If you cannot hope for order, withdraw with style from the chaos.
• If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.
• If you did what you always did, you'll get what you always got.
• If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.
• If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.
• If you do not care where you are, then you aren't lost.
• If you do not change direction, you are likely to end up where you are headed.