Not So Fast!

Like a lot of young women these days, one of our secretaries had worked long and hard to put her boyfriend through college. After he graduated and passed his bar exam, I asked her if they planned to be married soon. She looked at me with a big smile and said, "Oh no! Not right away. I want him to practice for at least six months first."

Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Are Not

• I need you to whip it out by 5:00!
• Mind if I use your laptop?
• Put this in my box before you leave.
• I want it on my desk now!
• Hmm.. I think I'm out of fluid.
• My equipment's so old, it takes forever to finish!
• It's an entry level position.
• When do you think you'll be getting off today?
• It's not fair... I do all the work while he just sits back!

Trying to be Impressive

A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it, "I'm sorry, but my caseload is so tremendous that I'm not going to be able to look into your problem for at least a month. I'll have to get back to you then." He then turned to the man who had just walked in, and said, "Now, what can I do for you?"
"Nothing," replied the man. "I'm here to hook up your phone."