Twenty VPs in a Mini-van

Q: How do you get 20 vice presidents in a mini-van?
A: Promote one and watch the other 19 crawl up his ass.

The English Are Tactful

Some of the most tactful people on Earth are English. One office supervisor called a secretary in to give her the bad news that she was being fired. He started the conversation with, "Miss Symthe, I really don't know how we're going to get along without you, but starting Monday, we're going to try."

George Costanza's Tips for Working Hard I

 I never walk down the hall without a document in my hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.