When to Negotiate

The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."

No Brakes

Did you ever hear about Blitzen the brown nosed reindeer? He is twice as fast as Rudolf but doesn't stop as quick!

Bad Jeeves

A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.
As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there.
As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She looked at him and smiled. "Jeeves," she said. "Take off my dress."
He did this carefully.  "Jeeves," she continued.  "Take off my stockings and garter."
He silently obeyed her.  "Jeeves," she then said.  "Remove my bra and panties. "
As he did this, the tension continued to mount.  She then said, "Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"