Shorts in the Shower

Q: Why do priests wear shorts in the shower?
A: They don't like to look down on the unemployed.

Yo Mama - Cigarette

Yo mama so poor when I went into her house and stepped on a cigarette, she said, "Who turned off the heater?"

Bums' Dirty Pants

Once upon a time there were these two bums walking down the railroad tracks, and the first bum, Fred, thought he smelled a nasty old smell. He asked his companion, Jeff, ''Did you shit your pants?'' ''Hell no,'' Jeff said. They walked a few more miles and the smell got worse. ''Did you shit your pants, Jeff?'' ''I swear to the God almighty I did not shit my pants,'' Jeff said.
So they walk three more miles and the smell gets just horrible. Fred runs over and pulls down Jeff's pants and says, ''I thought you said you didn't shit your pants?!'' ''I didn't.'' Jeff said. ''They're your pants.''