IRS Terminology

Q: Ever wonder why the IRS calls it, "Form 1040?"
A: Because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.

Pay your taxes with a smile.

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, "Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile." "Thank goodness," returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face, "I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."

Donations

A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.