Which Secretary To Hire?

An office manager was sent three secretaries, equally qualified, to fill one vacancy. "Well," thought the manager, "I'll give them an honesty test to determine which secretary to keep." To this end, he gave each secretary a money bag to take and bank telling them that there was $50 in the bag. (In fact, he had placed $100 in each bag; thus the honesty test.) The first secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50 and returns the extra $50 to the manager. The second secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks the full $100, and returns with a deposit slip as proof. The third secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50, goes to the local TAB and uses the $50 to win $300, then returns, explains to the manager and gives him the all the money.
Question: Which secretary does the manager select to retain?... Well, DUH!...The one with the biggest breasts!

Mexican Elite

Q: What do you call the top wealthiest people in Mexico?
A: The Juan percent.

Duck's Form of Payment

There was a duck that went to a local store to buy chapstick, the clerk asked if he would pay cash and the duck said, no, just put it on my bill.