U.S. Marines to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.

Marines Do Their Job

During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle. "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?" The Marine replied, "I got my four Sir."

Helo Jump

A young marine talks to his dad about parachute practice. We had to jump out of helicopters" the boy said. His father replies "how scary! And you just... jumped?" The boy shyly, said, "Well, I was very scared, and I just stood there at first." The dad got stern, "And what did the drill sergeant say?" He said, 'If you don't jump this fucking instant, I'm gonna stick my big hairy cock up your little ass." The dad got wide eyed, "Did you jump?" He asked. "Only at first."