The Known Accountant

A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to "The Unknown Soldier". At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: "Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg".  The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name.  The resident replied, "As a soldier, that Seymour was pretty much unknown, but as an accountant...Oy! He was something."

Impressing the Others

A young Air Force 2nd Lieutenant had just arrived at Misawa AFB in Japan. He'd been given a beautiful renovated office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw an enlisted man come into his outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the officer picked up the phone and started to pretend he was exchanging chit chat with the Base Commander. He threw Colonel's and General's names around and talked about letting them stay in his Daddy's condo in Hawaii, and then set up a golfing date between him, the Base Commander, and the CO's of the Naval Security Group and Naval Air Facility. Finally he hung up and asked the Sergeant, "Can I help you sergeant?" The TSGT said, "Yes sir, I'm here to activate your phone lines."

A Coed Party Overseas

Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students. The Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so of the other kind ?"