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Military Jokes
Water the Grass
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the frustrated Seaman. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"
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Misunderstanding Terms
One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
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New Recruit
Ten recruits had just arrived at the training camp and were lined up for inspection.
"Hey Johnson!" yelled the drill instructor, " those are the ugliest shoes I've ever seen! "
"Yes, sir," Johnson answered.
"Those shoes are really really ugly, right?" hollered the drill instructor again.
"Yes, sir," answered the recruit.
"And that hair- don't they have barbershops where you came from?"
"Yes, sir," answered the recruit.
"So why didn't you get a haircut?"
"I was saving up for shoes, sir!"
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