Proof Points

Two Math Professors Are Sitting In A Pub. "Isn't it disgusting," the first one complains, "How little the general public knows about mathematics? "Well," his colleague replies, "You're perhaps a bit too pessimistic." "I don't think so," the first one replies. "And anyhow, I have to go to the bathroom."
He goes off and the other professor decides to use this opportunity to play a prank on his colleague. He calls over the pretty blonde waitress. "When my friend comes back, I'll wave you over to our table and I'll ask you a question. I would like you to answer, 'x to the third over three', can you do that?"
"Sure." The girl giggles and repeats several times. "x to the third over three, x to the third over three, x to the third over three..."
When the first professor comes back from the washroom, his colleague says, "I still think you're way too pessimistic. I'm sure the waitress knows a lot more about mathematics than you give her credit for."
He gets her attention and motions of her to come to their table.  He then asks her, "Can you tell us what the integral of x squared is?" She replies: "x to the third over three."
The other professor's mouth drops wide open, and his colleague grins smugly when the waitress adds: "Plus C"

Math Problems

Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk: 10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound 4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound 2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound 2 bars soap at $.83 each "How much does that come to?" asked Larry. "Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents." "If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?" said the boy. "Seven dollars and sixty-four cents," stated the clerk who appeared to be irritated by all the questions. Larry said, as he disappeared through the door, "I don't want to buy the items... that's our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with it." 

Yo Mama - Mean

Yo momma's so mean...
she has no standard deviation