Hillbilly Math Education

A hillbilly family's only son saves up money to go to college. After about three years, he comes back home. They are sitting around the dinner table, when the dad says, ''Well son, you done gone to college, so you must be perty smart. Why don't you speak some math fer' us?'' ''Ok, Pa.'' The son then says, ''Pi R squared.'' After a moment, the dad says, ''Why son, they ain't teached ya nothin'! Pie are round, cornbread are square.''

US Metric System

Q: Why doesn't America use the metric system?
A: They have a foot fetish

Ranch Discovery

Q: What happens when you launch a bovinae into a pig at the speed of light?
A: You discover the Hoggs Bison.