Teaching Arithmetic

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to Little Johnny. So she said , "If you reached into your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached into your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?"
"Somebody else's pants," said Little Johnny.

Little Johnny and Geometry

Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'" Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"

Sunday School

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary. The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary. The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!" The Teacher fainted.