Light Bulb Jokes - American Jokes

Iraqi vs. American

Iraqi vs. American
Average Iraqi Has visited the convergence of the Tigris and Euphrates, cradle of the ancient civilization founded by his ancestors.
Average American Once got really sick on the Wild Mouse ride at Six Flags theme park.
Average Iraqi Willing to participate in Holy War for his nation.
Average American Willing to participate in People's Choice Awards.
Average Iraqi Lines up by the thousands to die for country.
Average American Will go to any extreme to avoid jury duty.
Average Iraqi Has endured many food shortages during wars with Iran and embargo by West.
Average American Shoves McDonalds cashier if their Happy Meal doesn't include McCookies.
Average Iraqi Believes if he dies in battle, he will go straight to Paradise.
Average American Believes if, in a dream, you don't wake up before hitting the ground, you die.
Average Iraqi Has friend or relative wounded in ruthless wars of conquest.
Average American Has beer guzzling uncle who shot self in foot on hunting trip.
Average Iraqi Thinks Saddam Hussein is a political genius.
Average American Thinks Saddam Hussein makes Dan Quayle seem like Einstein.

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (American Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Iraq Jokes) , Funny Thoughts
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

American Worker's Response

An Irish man with a crooked back walks into a coffee shop and sees Jesus sitting in the corner reading the paper. He tells the waitress, "Please send Jesus a cup of coffee, on me." So the waitress takes Jesus a cup of coffee. Then an Arabic man with arthritis walks into the coffee shop and sees Jesus sitting in the corner. He says to the waitress "Send Jesus a muffin, on me." So the waitress sends Jesus a muffin. Finally an American man in a wheelchair rolls into the coffee shop and sees Jesus in the corner. He says to the waitress, "Tell Jesus I'll cover his bill." So the waitress tells Jesus. As Jesus was leaving the coffee house he says to the Irish man, "Thank you for the free coffee. Be healed!" Jesus touches the man's shoulder, and he was miraculously healed. Then Jesus went over to the Arabic man and said, "Thank you for the free muffin. Be healed!" Jesus lightly tapped the man's shoulder, and he was healed. Then jesus went over to the American man and said, "Thank you for covering my bill. Be healed!" As Jesus leaned over to touch him, the man yelled, "Don't touch me man! I'm on workers comp!!"

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (American Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jesus Jokes)
Anonymous

Native Customs

A Native American walks into a bar with a cat, a bag of shit and a shotgun. He asks for a bottle of whiskey and immediately downs it. He throws the bag of shit up in the air, shoots it with his shotgun, and takes a big bite of the cat's ass. The bartender asks, "Buddy, what the hell are you doing?" The Native American responds, "I want to be like the white man: get drunk, shoot the shit and eat pussy."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Native American Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (American Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous
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