Aggie and Longhorn Ranching

An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, "Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"

Jail Cell Escape

A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail cell to the outside world. When finally his work was done, he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground. "I'm free, I'm free!" he shouted. "So what," said a little girl. "I'm four."

College Burger Joint Conversations Nationwide

M.I.T.: "I had a nervous breakdown this weekend." "Have some fries."
Caltech: "I had three nervous breakdowns this weekend." "Have some fries."
Yale: "I got mugged on the way to class today." "Have some fries."
Brown: "I got a nose ring this weekend, Professor Smith." "Cool! Me too! Have some fries."
Swarthmore: "I got a B." "Anywhere else it would have been an A. Have some fries."
Princeton: "My father took away my Porsche this weekend." "Poor dear. Have some Escargot."
Harvard: "Did you do anything this weekend?" "Nope. Have some fries."
Williams: "Don't I know you?" "Of course you do, silly. Have some fries."
Cornell: "I killed my lab partner this weekend." "Bummer. Have some fries."
Columbia: "I wish I could be eating these fries at a better school." "Me too. Let's go get shot."
Penn: "I wish I could be eating these fries at a better school." "Me too. Let's transfer to Columbia."
Stanford: "Dude, I have so much work this weekend." "Like, chill out, dude. Have some, like, fries."
Dartmouth: "Oh man, I got so trashed this weekend." "Have some beer."
Tufts: "I wish I were Ivy League." "Here, drink the fry grease."