Spelling Test Mistakes

One of the women with whom I work, Donna, has a son in third grade. Part of his daily homework is to practice his spelling for his weekly tests. So, together, Donna and her son go over the words for the test, both meaning and spelling of the words. A few weeks ago, her son brought home his test. He scored 97%, missing only one word. The word was "clock." Part of the test was to use each spelling list word in a sentence. His sentence? "My dad gave my mom a clock for her birthday" -- only it seems he'd accidentally omitted the letter "L." Donna said there was no comment on the test, just the biggest check mark she had ever seen.

I Will Not

• I will not waste chalk...
• I will not skateboard in the halls...
• I will not burp in class...
• I will not draw naked ladies in class...
• I did not see Elvis...
• I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes'...
• Garlic gum is not funny...
• They are laughing at me, not with me...
• I will not yell 'fire' in a crowded classroom...
• I will not encourage others to fly...
• I will not fake my way through life...
• Tar is not a play thing...
• I will not Xerox my butt...
• I will not trade pants with others...
• I will not do that thing with my tongue...
• I will not drive the principal's car...
• I will not pledge allegiance to Bart...
• I will not sell school property...
• I will not instigate revolution...

Passing Hookers

A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with their pinkies and say "Hi there little boy!!" One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always wave at him with their pinkies. They reply: "well, that is what size we imagine your penis to be... it is just a joke!" The next day on his way home, the hookers repeat the tradition. The young boy stops and drops his school books on the ground, sticks all his fingers in his mouth to stretch his lips very wide and mumbles through them, "HI THERE LADIES!"