Naked Lady

One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."

Pulled Tooth

A dentist told a mother, "I'm sorry madam, but I'll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy's tooth." The mother exclaimed, "A $100! You said it was only $20!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but he yelled so loudly that he scared four other patients out of the office!"

Student Proverbs

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

• As you shall make your bed so shall you...mess it up.
• Better be safe than...punch a 5th grader.
• Strike while the...bug is close.
• It's always darkest before...daylight savings time.
• You can lead a horse to water but...how?
• Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.
• A miss is as good as a...
• Mr. You can't teach an old dog new...math.
• If you lie down with the dogs, you'll...stink in the morning.
• The pen is mightier than the...pigs.
• An idle mind is...the best way to relax.
• Where there's smoke, there's...pollution.
• Happy is the bride who...gets all the presents.
• A penny saved is...not much.
• Two's company, three's...the musketeers.
• Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...you have to blow your nose.
• Children should be seen and not...spanked or grounded.
• When the blind leadeth the blind...get out of the way.