Playing in the Garden

Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden one day with three boys. They ran around in the garden and played tag. She later climbed the tree that was in her garden. Her mother yelled out, "Mary Lou get down out of the tree, the boys are going to see your panties. She laughed and she laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing any panties.

Spelling Test Mistakes

One of the women with whom I work, Donna, has a son in third grade. Part of his daily homework is to practice his spelling for his weekly tests. So, together, Donna and her son go over the words for the test, both meaning and spelling of the words. A few weeks ago, her son brought home his test. He scored 97%, missing only one word. The word was "clock." Part of the test was to use each spelling list word in a sentence. His sentence? "My dad gave my mom a clock for her birthday" -- only it seems he'd accidentally omitted the letter "L." Donna said there was no comment on the test, just the biggest check mark she had ever seen.

I Will Not

• I will not waste chalk...
• I will not skateboard in the halls...
• I will not burp in class...
• I will not draw naked ladies in class...
• I did not see Elvis...
• I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes'...
• Garlic gum is not funny...
• They are laughing at me, not with me...
• I will not yell 'fire' in a crowded classroom...
• I will not encourage others to fly...
• I will not fake my way through life...
• Tar is not a play thing...
• I will not Xerox my butt...
• I will not trade pants with others...
• I will not do that thing with my tongue...
• I will not drive the principal's car...
• I will not pledge allegiance to Bart...
• I will not sell school property...
• I will not instigate revolution...