Lightening Strikes Twice

Q: How is lightning like a violist's fingers?
A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

Criticism

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Mommy's Little Helper

Little Susie was Mommy's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for dinner. Soon, everything was on, Mr. Smythe the guest came in, and everyone sat down. Then Mother noticed something was missing.... "Susie, dear," she said, "You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smythe's place." "But, Mommy, I thought he wouldn't need them," explained Susie. "Daddy says he always eats like a horse!"