Zacklie

"Where did you get those zacklies?"
"Zacklies?"
"Yeah, your breath smells zacklie like your butt!"

You're Ugly

You're so ugly, yo momma had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get the dog to play with you.

Insulting in Church

How to be Insulting in Church: Arrive late for any service and arrive noisily. Forget at least one, if not both books, and try to make others stand up while you go back for the ones you need.