Nun Christmas

A week before the Christmas party one nun sees the other with her hands colored bright red in a sopping wet pile of fabric.
When asked what she'd been doing, she explained that she had dug an old outfit out of the linen closet that nobody had used in years, hoping to dye it red and make a Santa Claus outfit. The problem was the fabric, it was too stubborn and she couldn't get the color to take.
"Well," the first nun said, "You know what they say, old habits dye hard."

All I Want For Christmas

About two weeks before Christmas, a little Catholic boy decided to write a letter to Santa. He started "Dear Santa...", he thought "No, I will go to a higher authority", so he decided to write a letter to Jesus. "Dear Jesus, If you get me a bike for Christmas, I will be good for two weeks.." "NO NO NO NO I can't be good for two weeks," he thought to himself. So he started all over again..."Dear Jesus, If you get me a bike for Christmas I will be good for one week." "NO NO NO NO I can't be good for one week," he thought to himself. So he quickly ran to the Study room and grabbed their statue of Mary, and quickly wrapped it up in a blanket. He started all over again. "Dear Jesus, I have your mother...if you ever want to see her again...get me a bike for Christmas!"

The Last Day Working

"You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When......"You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?", you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox.
A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn". Your boss is standing behind you. It's his wife.
While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out.
You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week.
You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?" You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.