All I Want For Christmas

About two weeks before Christmas, a little Catholic boy decided to write a letter to Santa. He started "Dear Santa...", he thought "No, I will go to a higher authority", so he decided to write a letter to Jesus. "Dear Jesus, If you get me a bike for Christmas, I will be good for two weeks.." "NO NO NO NO I can't be good for two weeks," he thought to himself. So he started all over again..."Dear Jesus, If you get me a bike for Christmas I will be good for one week." "NO NO NO NO I can't be good for one week," he thought to himself. So he quickly ran to the Study room and grabbed their statue of Mary, and quickly wrapped it up in a blanket. He started all over again. "Dear Jesus, I have your mother...if you ever want to see her again...get me a bike for Christmas!"

Yo Mama - Christmas

Yo mama so old her first Christmas was the first Christmas.

Military Holiday Traditions

Top Holiday Traditions In The Military

9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask
8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower
7. Draw up list of who's naughty, who's nice and who can't run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant
6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 0530
5. You open a gift and surprise! It's a khaki-colored t-shirt
4. Extra R&R for any personnel named Donner or Blitzen
3. There's always plenty of parking at the mall when you're driving a tank
2. Watching "Frosty" and crying my eyes out
1. Freeze-dried, shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed eggnog