Toilet Tennis?

While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door:  Congratulations! You've won one a free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads: Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left...

Red and Green in the Corner

Q: What's red and sits in a corner?
A: A baby playing with a razor blade.
 
Q   What's green and sits in the corner? 
A: That same baby three weeks later.

Vampire's One More Chance

There was a vampire who sucked people's blood for many centuries. God was very angry at the vampire and said to him, "You're going to hell!" The vampire fell to his knees and said, "God, I beg of you, give me one more chance to be good."
God agreed. Then the vampire said, ''I want to be light, fluffy, and white like a cloud.'' ''That seems easy enough,'' replied God. ''I would also like to have wings like an angel.'' ''OK,'' replied God. Since God had said yes to all his requests, the vampire decided to ask for a very greedy request. ''God, if possible, could you let me suck a little blood?'' ''Sure,'' replied God, ''but only once a month.'' And he turned the vampire into a maxi pad with wings.