Frog Defense

I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly.

On The Beach

There is 2 fags walking down the beach. They are holding hands and kicking the sand with their feet. One happens to kick a lamp that is lying buried in the sand. He picks it up and starts to clean it off. All of a sudden a Genie comes out of the lamp. "Man, I don't believe it. I have stuck in that bottle for two thousand years and the first person to come along and find me is a fag. I am suppose to give you 3 wishes but I just can't do it. I won't even give you 2. I will give you one wish and that is it. What will it be?" The 2 men are excited about getting their wish but couldn't come up with what they wanted to wish for on such short notice. One man says, "Could you give us just a little time to think about it? I mean one wish we need a little time." The Genie looks down and says, "Alright you can take as long as you want but I am not going to stay here until you come up with it. I just can't stand the sight of you two. Whenever you make up your mind just wish for it and it will done." At that moment the Genie grabs his bottle and flies off into the sky. Well the two men decide that they will go back to the motel room and decide on what they will wish for. Once they got back, their emotions took over and they started getting intimate. Right as they were getting into it, the door of their room gets busted down and 6 men in white sheets come in. They grab the two and throw a rope around their necks. The men look at each other and one says to the other; " You know this might be a good time use our wish." The second man says, "I already made it." The first man responds "What the hell did you wish for?" The second man says shyly, "Well, I wished that we were hung like two niggers."

Catching a Mermaid

Three fishermen catch a mermaid. If they agree to set her free, she will grant them each a wish. The first guy says, "OK, I want you to double my I.Q." Immediately, the guy recites Shakespeare flawlessly. The second guy asks the mermaid to triple his I.Q. Suddenly, he's spouting complicated mathematical solutions. Impressed, the last guy asks the mermaid to quintuple his I.Q. The mermaid hesitates and asks, "Are you sure that's what you really want?" "Absolutely!" says the man. The mermaid smiles. Instantly, the third man turns into a woman.