Believing in Leprechauns

Hennessy wasn't a very good looking fellow to start with. Now his business had failed and his wife and family had left him. Depressed and distracted, he was standing near the edge of the bridge, contemplating suicide. Suddenly, he sensed that someone was behind him.  Turning around he saw an ugly little old leprechaun. "Don't jump," she said, "I'll grant you three wishes.".  "Right," he said
"My first wish is to have $100,000."  She said, "When you check your account, you will find that you are in credit to that amount."  He then said, "My second wish is to have my wife and children back." She replied, "They will be there when you get home." He then said, "My third wish is to be tall and handsome." She again replied, "When you look in the mirror, you will find that your wish has been granted."
But then the ugly little leprechaun added, "I want you to do something in return for me. I want you to kiss me."  He looked at her and shuddered at the thought. But under the circumstances he thought he should do as she wanted. He took her in his arms and kissed her again and again. She said, "What age are you?".  He replied, "I'm forty." She said, "Don't you think that you're a bit too old to be believing in leprechauns?"

Genie and Mother-in-law

A man finds a lamp and decides to rub the dust off. Then, you guessed it, a Genie appears. The Genie tells the man he will grant him three wishes, but everything the man gets, his mother-in-law gets twice. The man's first wish is for 10 million dollars. The Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get 20 million dollars. The man says, "That's ok." The man's next wish is for a house by the sea. Once again, the Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get two houses by the sea; once again, the man says, "That's okay." The man's last wish is to be beaten half to death!

The Bear and The Rabbit

A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of you three wishes." The bear says "I wish that all of the bears in the forest were females." **POOF** It is done.The rabbit says "I wish for a motorcycle." **POOF** It is done. The bear says "I wish all the bears in this country were females." **POOF** It is done.The rabbit says "I wish for a lifetime supply of carrots back at my house." **POOF** It is done. The bear thought to himself "Why is the rabbit wasting his wishes on stupid small things?" Finally, the bear says "For my third wish, I wish that all the bears in the world were female." **POOF** It is done. The rabbit says "For MY last wish, I wish for the bear to be gay" and he rode off on his motorcycle.