Jump Off Genie

A Polish man, a German guy, and an American dude, climb a mountain because they each want to make a wish from the genie on the top. When they make it to the top, they find the lamp and all rub it. The genie appears and says, "For your wish to be granted, you must yell it out while you are jumping off of this mountain." So the German jumps off and yells, "I wish to be a fighter plane!" "So be it," the genie says, and the German becomes a plane. The American jumps off and yells, "I wish to be an eagle!" "So be it," the genie says, and the American becomes an eagle and flies away. The Polish man runs to the edge, accidentally trips on a rock, and yells, "I wish to b- oh S**t!"

The Genie and the Ex-Wife

An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you hate the most.” The explorer says, “That’s gotta be my ex-wife. Why?” “I am a cursed genie. I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your ex-wife will get double that amount.” “Okay, I wish for a billion dollars.” “Granted, but you ex-wife gets two billion dollars.” “I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything.” “Granted, and your ex-wife gets two." "Now make your final wish.” The explorer walks around for a few minutes, returns to the genie with a stick, and says, “You see this stick? I’d like you to beat me half to death.”

The Third Wish

A young man fell in a pit one day, and found a magic lamp with a genie inside of it. Of course, the genie popped out and said, "I will grant you three wishes."  The man's first wish was to get out of the pit. **POOF** He was instantly transported out. He then wished for all the gold in the world. **POOF** The genie gave him all the gold nuggets in the world, all the gold bars, all the gold pebbles, everything. The man could not think of anything for his third wish, so he went out for a ride in his Ferrari. He turned on the radio, and after a few minutes and a catchy song came on. He started to sing along, "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner..." and **POOF**