Car Acronyms

• AUDI - Accelerates Under Demonic Influence. Always Unsafe Designs Implemented. All Un-informed Drivers Insulted. All Unnecessary Devices Installed
• BMW - Big Money Works. Bought My Wife. Brutal Money Waster
• BUICK - Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
• CHEVROLET - Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips. Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
• DODGE - Dumb Old Dirty Gas Eater. Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
• FORD - Fix Or Repair Daily. Found On Road, Dead. Fast Only Rolling Downhill
• GM - General Maintenance
• GMC - Garage Man's Companion
• HONDA - Had One Never Did Again. Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else. Hated Old Noisy Damaged Auto
• HYUNDAI - Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive?
• MAZDAMost Always Zipping Dangerously Along
• OLDSMOBILE - Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day. Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment SAABSend Another Automobile Back
• TOYOTA - Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
• VOLVO - Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
• VW - Virtually Worthless

King Henry VIII

Q: What would King Henry VIII be doing if he was alive right now?
A: Scratching at the lid of his coffin of course!!!

Change

A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway. He went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change. The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.