Brain is Good as New

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing how you've never used it.

The Incredible Golf Ball

Two Golfers were approaching the first tee.
The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, "Hey, why don't you try this ball." He draws a green golf ball out of his bag. "Use this one - You can't lose it!"
His friend replies, "What do you mean you can't lose it?!!"
The first man replies, "I'm serious, you can't lose it. If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it."
Obviously, his friend doesn't believe him, but he shows him all the possibilities until he is convinced. The friend says, "Wow! That's incredible! Where did you get that ball?" The man replies, "I found it."
(Think about it... it'll come to you :)

Slapped Senseless

I'd slap you senseless, but I can't spare three seconds!