What An Idiot

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

I Marked The Spot

Two friends rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. One guy said to his friend, "Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow." The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same guy asked his friend, "Did you mark that spot?" His friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big 'X' on the bottom of the boat." The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today!?"

Insult Collection

• Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance?
• I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?
• You have an inferiority complex -- and it's fully justified.
• You are not as bad as people say -- you are worse!
• Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
• I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
• Whom am I calling "stupid"? I don't know. What's your name?
• Take a vacation go to Club Dead.
• Your mouth is getting too big for your muzzle.
• You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent.
• You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could possibly get to be so stupid in just one lifetime.
• You grow on people -- like a wart!