Caught Drunk Driving

You're so stupid, you got caught drunk-driving at the bumper cars.

Quotes

• Personally, I think that people who say they wish they had their lives to live over again, probably shouldn't anyway.
• Wonder why it is that people who can make fools out of themselves are such excellent craftsmen.
• People who say they've learned from their mistakes should have studied more for the test in the first place.
• As I reflect upon on my past, the thing I regret the most... is its length.
• The way some people find fault with every damn thing in life, you'd think there was a reward.
• Even as I age, I still consider myself a "go-getter"... of course now, I have to make two trips.
• Trust me, when humans were created, I believe there was a very good reason why the body was configured so that ya cannot pat yourself on the back.

Real Estate Line

He comes from a long line of real estate people... they're a vacant lot.