Lawyers In Heaven

Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair.  So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer. Saint Peter: "This fence needs some repair. I'll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it." Lucifer: "If you want it fixed, you pay for it." Saint Peter: "The fence is partly your responsibility and you will help pay for it or I will sue you for that amount." Lucifer: "Ha!! And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?!"

Lawyer and a Rooster

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.

Your Wife And A Lawyer

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?