Attorney Fee Schedule

A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule. "Alright,"  the lawyer says looking through his papers. "You owe me $1000 down and $417.58 cents each month for the next thirty-six months." "What! That sounds like a car payment schedule," retorted the client. "Your right. It's mine."

Lawyers In Heaven

Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair.  So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer. Saint Peter: "This fence needs some repair. I'll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it." Lucifer: "If you want it fixed, you pay for it." Saint Peter: "The fence is partly your responsibility and you will help pay for it or I will sue you for that amount." Lucifer: "Ha!! And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?!"

Lawyer and a Rooster

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.