A Bright Attorney

A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith. "I locked my keys in my sports car!" said the nervous lawyer. "No problem, I should be there in about an hour," replied the locksmith. "Do you think you can make it a little sooner?" pleaded the lawyer. "My top is down and it's starting to rain."

Question: What is 1 + 2?

Q:  What is 1 + 2 ?
Politician: Well, if you look at the seasonally adjusted figures, you'll find that it's reasonably in line with government predictions.
Physicist: I won't tell you until you tell me what you want to use it for.
Lawyer: It makes one and a half each.

Blinde Snake and Bunny

A blind bunny and a blind snake bump into each other on the path. "What kind of animal are you?" asks the snake. "I really don't know," says the bunny. "I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out?" So, the snake felt the bunny. "Well, you're soft and cuddly," said the snake. "You have long silky ears and a little fluffy tail. You must be a bunny!" "Awesome!" says the bunny. "Now what kind of animal are you?" "I really don't know," says the snake. "I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out?" So, the bunny feels the snake all over, and he replies, "You're hard and cold, and you haven't got any balls. You must be a lawyer!"