Actual Signs

• Sign in a realtor's office: "Lots for little."
• Sign in a shoe store: "Come in and have a fit."
• Sign in a maternity clothes store: "We are open on labor day."
• Sign in a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
• Sign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."
• Sign at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step."
• Sign at the exit of the IRS: "Watch your mouth."
• Sign in a bookstore: "We treat you write."
• Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

Hilarious Signs

• Over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
• On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
• On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
• Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
• Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
• In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
• Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "We can help you pick your nose!"
• On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
• In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
• On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
• At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
• In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Restaurant Sign

Sign in a restaurant window: "T-bone: 99 Cents." (Then, in fine print underneath: "With meat: $23.95").