Real News Headlines

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country:

• Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
• Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
• New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
• Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
• Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
• Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
• British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
• Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
• Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 

Headline: Burger King buys Tim Hortons

What's next Burger King, Canada's Parliament Hill? Sounds about right, because so many “ whoppers" are sold to Canadians from there!

More Strange Headlines

A bird dropped a snake over a California power station, short-circuiting a line and causing a two-hour blackout. 
A Creighton University (Nebraska) Law School senior, told she wouldn't graduate because of a failing grade on a final exam, sued her professor, claiming he flunked her because she is "politically incorrect."
Biloxi, Mississippi, jurors acquitted a woman of drug charges, then passed the hat to collect $55 to pay her bus fare home to Texas.
A man allegedly held up 18 New York businesses after casing the places while filling out job or rental applications. The spree ended after he accidentally signed his real name on one of the forms, police said.
Harlan County, Nebraska, Assessor Floyd Schippert was unopposed in the Democratic primary, and just to be sure, he entered -- and won -- the Republican primary also. Willie Turner wasn't running for the Dendron, Virginia, Town Council. He didn't even vote. But he won with five write-in votes.
A Hollywood, California man is accused of renting cars, selling them, then stealing them back for return to the rental companies.
Corpus Christi, Texas, police said it was a hit-and-gallop accident: A man crashed his truck into the back of a car, then fled on the horse he was pulling in the trailer.