Cats' Magazine

Q: What magazine do cats like to read?
A: Good Mousekeeping.

Wife Places ad for Husband

I have received hundreds of replies to my ad for a husband. They all say the same thing - "Take mine."

Wife Swap

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium." "Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?" "Absolutely not," he said. "How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not." "Season's more than half over," he said.