Fast Liquid

Q: What is the fastest liquid?
A: Milk, because it pasteurized before you see it.

Peanut Crime

Q: Did you hear about the two peanuts who were out too late?
A: One was a salted.

An Abstract Joke

Two bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by. The turd looks over and says, "Hey! Come on in! The water's fine!" One banana turns to the other banana and says, "Do you believe that shit?"