To A Six Year Old

A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

Gifts to Mom

Three sons left home and prospered in life. When getting back together they discussed their success and the great gifts they were able to buy their elderly mother. The first son said, "I sent mom a Mercedes." The second son said, "I bought mom a mansion." The third son smirked and said, "I've got you both BEAT! Remember how mom liked reading the Bible when we were young? And you know she can't see very well anymore?... Well, I sent her an AMAZING parrot that recites the ENTIRE Bible! It took elders in the church 12 years to teach this parrot. He's one of a kind!! Mom now just has to name the verse and BAM, the parrot recites it!" Soon after this meeting of the sons, mom sent out her thank you letters. "Andy, quot; she wrote, "the house you built is so big and even though I live in one room, I still have to clean the whole house." " John," she wrote, "I am too old to travel and spend most of my time at home, so I never use the Mercedes." "Mark," she wrote to her third son, "You are my favorite son. You have such good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was simply delicious!!"

That's Lazy

My son is so lazy he hates emptying the trash in the recycle bin on his computer.