All in the Family

A worried father telephones his doctor who is a close family friend and tells him that his teenage son has come down with a venereal disease. “He thinks he caught it from the maid,” says the father. “Don’t worry too much,” says the doctor. “These things happen.” “I know,” says the father. “But I’ve been sleeping with the maid too. And now I seem to have the same symptoms.” “That’s unfortunate,” says the doctor. “But try not to get distressed.” “That’s not all,” says the man. “I think I’ve passed it to my wife.” “Christ Almighty!” shouts the doctor. “That means we all have it!”

Child Sent to Bed

A small boy is sent to bed by his father...
[Five minutes later] "Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
[Five minutes later] "Da-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY... Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
[Five minutes later] "Daaaa-aaaAAAAD..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

Teen Bliss

Me and my wife were trying to think of a gift for my son's birthday. "What would you have wanted at 13?" she asked. She wasn't impressed with my reply of "Pornography and a wrist support"