Well Done

A man's house is on fire. No help is in sight so he takes matters into his own hands. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets is daughter and brings her outside. Then his wife. Then the dog. Then the cat. Then he goes back in "3 more times" without bringing out anybody or anything. So a bystander is curious and asks him, "Why do you keep going back into your burning house and not coming out with anything?" The man replies, "I'm turning over my mother in law."

The Wall Clock and the Mother-in-Law

One day a wife complained, "This wall clock almost killed my mother today!  It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."  The husband grunted and replied, "The darn clock always was slow!"

The Phone Conversation with Mother

A man answers the phone, and starts "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard."  "Well, you know how she is."  "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her! You were perfectly right."  "You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room, "Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"