Menu Item Translations

The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.

• Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China
• Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong
• Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo
• French fried ships - Cairo
• Garlic Coffee - Europe
• Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe
• Boiled Frogfish - Europe
• Sweat from the trolley - Europe
• Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China
• Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong
• Roasted duck let loose - Poland
• Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland
• Fried friendship - Nepal
• Strawberry crap - Japan
• Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam
• Toes with butter and jam - Bali
• French Creeps - L.A.
• Fried fishermen - Japan
• Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan
• Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania
• Product Names Clean Finger Nail - Chinese
• Japanese mineral water Creap Creamy Powder - Japan
• Coffee Creamer Swine - China
• Chocolates Libido - China
• Soda Pocari Sweat - Japan
• Sport drink Shocking - Japan
• Chewing gum Cat Wetty - Japan
• Moistened hand towels Pipi - Yugoslavia
• Orangeade Polio - Czechoslovakia
• Laundry detergent Crundy - Japan
• Gourmet candy Superglans - Netherlands
• Car wax I'm Dripper - Japan
• Instant coffee Zit - Greece
• Soft drink Colon Plus - Spain

Americans Hate France

Americans hate France. You don't know French people. It's mostly based on a story you heard about a friend's friends who went to Paris, who had a waiter, who had B.O., who was very rude to them because they sent back their steak tartar because it was too rare.

Steven Wright Jokes

• I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."
• I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."
• I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
• I went into a clothes store the other day and a salesman walked up to me and said, "Can I help you?" And I said "Yeah, do you got anything I like?" He said, "What do you mean do we have anything you like?" I said, "You started this." I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything today.
• There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
• I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap Department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
• Friday, I was in a bookstore and I started talking to a French looking girl. She was a bilingual illiterate -- she couldn't read in two different languages.
• For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. Then I filled my humidifier with wax, and now my room is all shiny.