Russian Persuasion

An international archaeological expedition unearths an Egyptian mummy. They've never seen a mummy like it, and are totally confused.
The Americans X-ray the mummy and all it's artifacts. They analyze all the materials down to their atoms, but come back empty handed.
The French have a go. Their best historians and linguists examine the hieroglyphics and scrolls. After months of effort, they too come back empty handed.
The KGB attaché accompanying the Russians wants to have a go. Everyone else agrees, as they've all run out of ideas.
They take the mummy. 10 minutes later, they're back. "He's Akemtomph the Fifth, from the house of Isigord. He ruled from 575 BC to 549 BC."
"How did you get this information?" Everyone else asks in astonishment.
"He confessed."

Four Scandanavians

Q: Who are Sven War, Ollie Famine, Piter Pestilence, and Jergi Death?
A: The four Norseman of the Apocolypse.

Irish Compassion

Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish accent:
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake. When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our five hour flight.
Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."