Test Tube Baby

Q: Why is it so groovy to be a test tube baby?
A: Because you get a womb with a view.

Frantic Call

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!".   "Is this her first child?", the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

Taking Measures

"Mom, I'm pregnant." "How can that be? What did I tell you about sex?" "That I should take measures. That's what I did! I took measures and then went with the biggest."