Everything We Need

A young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old's about sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the back of the class. She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, "oh miss, oh miss!" with his arm pumping. "Yes, Johnny, what is it?" she asked, trying to remain calm. Little Johnny stood up and proclaimed to the class, "at our house, we have everything." "Don't be silly," the teacher replied, "not even the richest man has everything." "We do," he answered, "My daddy said so the other day." "Now, why would your father say such a thing?" she asked. "Well, my fifteen year old sister came home with her skinhead boyfriend, and told poppa she was pregnant. That's when my dad said "God, that's all we needed."

Childbirth Papers

Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, "How was I born?" "The stork brought you to us." "Oh," said Little Johnny. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked. "Oh, the stork brought us too." "So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?" "Well, darling, the stork brought them too," said the mother. The next day Little Johnny handed in his paper to the teacher. It read, "This report is impossible to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

Miracle

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?" The mother says, "It’s my daughter Darla, she keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings." The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don’t know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant - about 4 months would be my guess." The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can’t be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Darla?" Darla says, "No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man!" The doctor walks over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?" The doctor replies, "No, not really, it’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I’ll be darned if I’m going to miss it this time!"