Everything We Need

A young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old's about sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the back of the class. She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, "oh miss, oh miss!" with his arm pumping. "Yes, Johnny, what is it?" she asked, trying to remain calm. Little Johnny stood up and proclaimed to the class, "at our house, we have everything." "Don't be silly," the teacher replied, "not even the richest man has everything." "We do," he answered, "My daddy said so the other day." "Now, why would your father say such a thing?" she asked. "Well, my fifteen year old sister came home with her skinhead boyfriend, and told poppa she was pregnant. That's when my dad said "God, that's all we needed."

Which Father?

A blonde goes to the doctor's and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what's wrong. She replies, "I know who the dad is for one of them but I don't know who the dad is for the other one!"

Childbirth Papers

Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, "How was I born?" "The stork brought you to us." "Oh," said Little Johnny. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked. "Oh, the stork brought us too." "So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?" "Well, darling, the stork brought them too," said the mother. The next day Little Johnny handed in his paper to the teacher. It read, "This report is impossible to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."