Which Father?

A blonde goes to the doctor's and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what's wrong. She replies, "I know who the dad is for one of them but I don't know who the dad is for the other one!"

A Woman Asks About Childbirth Pain

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt? "The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy, and besides, it's difficult to describe pain." "I know, but can't you give me some idea?," she asks. The doctor said, "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little." "Like this?" she askes. The doctor says,"A little more." "Like this?" she asks again. "No. A little more," he says. "Like this?" she asks, again. "Yes. Does that hurt?" the doctor asks. "A little bit." she responds. Then the doctor says, "Now stretch it over your head!"

Darn Candle

On his tour to the U.S., the Pope visited a couple who had been childless for six years, try as they might to have a baby. The Pope promised to light a candle for them at the Vatican.
A decade later, the Pope returned and dropped in on the couple again and found nine children romping around the house.
Congratulating the wife on her fruitfulness, the Pope looked around and asked, "But where is your husband?"
"Jim?" the haggard woman said. "Oh, he went to Rome to blow out that candle!"