Origin of Lawyers

An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "can you get pregnant from anal sex?".  "Certainly," replies the doctor, "Where do you think lawyers come from!"

The Frantic Pregnancy Call

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?", the emergency operator asked. "No, you idiot!", the man shouted. "This is her husband!"

A Woman Asks About Childbirth Pain

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt? "The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy, and besides, it's difficult to describe pain." "I know, but can't you give me some idea?," she asks. The doctor said, "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little." "Like this?" she askes. The doctor says,"A little more." "Like this?" she asks again. "No. A little more," he says. "Like this?" she asks, again. "Yes. Does that hurt?" the doctor asks. "A little bit." she responds. Then the doctor says, "Now stretch it over your head!"